Ode to the Body Shop

by Rich Lowenberg

O wonderous soapy bar
Thy scents speaketh to my heart
As thy bubbles cleanse mine skin.

Yours alone is the creamy of all creamyness.
My 72p Tesco 2 in 1 anti-dandruff shampoo holds not a candle to thy smell
Even when the electricity doth be out.

I thank thee for thy lovely soapy touch.


A lazy Sunday. I went to church this morning, the first time I've been in years. Church is a bit different over here. There's a lot of evangelical stereotypes - the shouting "PRAAAAAAAISE JEEZUSSSS!!!!" and everyone singing and clapping and drumming and dancing. If church had been like this when I was growing up God would have been much trendier.

I grew out of my anti-religion phase a few years ago, and while I don't subscribe to any specific religion myself I have a lot of respect for religion and spirituality in general. It is of course used for horrific purposes some of the time, both past and present, but I think mostly it keeps people happy and helping eachother, and keeps everyone thinking about stuff beyond their everyday lives. And I don't find many religious people to be preachy. In Toronto at least, most of the preachy people I meet are atheist.

I must admit though church services are a pretty weird thing. Spirituality is presented in such a black and white fashion. You're either good, or you're evil. If you come to church each week and pray and keep the faith then your enemies will be destroyed and you will go to heaven. It's a McDonalds drive-thru for spirituality: fast, convenient, predictable, but probably not as fulfilling as a home cooked meal.

I just talked about how I have lots of respect for religion then I called church a McDonalds drive-thru. Maybe that will seem less confusing if I mention that before I became vegetarian I really, really loved Big Macs.

Although it's still a ways off, I've been thinking about what I want to do after this volunteer work. I'd really like to get to Madagascar, buy a drum and study some percussion. The best drums in the world are made there. I have decided that if I can get one made especially for me, I will kill the animal myself. That might seem weird coming from an ethical vegetarian, but I figure if I'm going to pay for an animal skin I should understand exactly what I'm doing.

I also plan to spend some time with my uncle in Amsterdam, and maybe work my way through Southern Europe and into Northern Africa. As a British citizen I can pick up work in the EU so it wouldn't have to be too expensive overall.

I kind of like the idea of studying a bunch of things in their appropriate countries. Drumming in Madagascar, cooking in France, brewing beer in Belgium etc. Then I'll be able to easily bullshit people into thinking I'm really good at all those things.

Tonight we're all going to a hotel called Blue Mango, that apparently has really good food. Tomorrow is my first day of teaching at the school. I'll post again soon!